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Quotes of the Day

  • "Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?" -- Dick Clark
  • "Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day." -- Mickey Rooney
  • "Of those who say nothing, few are silent." -- Thomas Neill
  • "A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing." -- Alexander Hamilton
  • "Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does." -- Bill Nye
  • "I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." -- Henny Youngman
  • "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." -- Dylan Thomas
  • "In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite." -- Paul Dirac
  • "Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions." -- Evan Esar
  • "When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained." -- Edward R. Murrow
  • "Some for renown, on scraps of learning dote, /And think they grow immortal as they quote." -- Edward Young
  • "Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there." -- Clare Booth Luce
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